hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize