then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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