Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
