I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize