I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
