careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
