Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
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