Nicole vs. Life
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize