STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
