i'm signing you up for texting rehab
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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