A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
