Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
