I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
