so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
