ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
