I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
