Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
it glows. i had to have it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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