We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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