We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
