Sry I called you an 8
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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