I want to have your abortion
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
