I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
