Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
