Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
