My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
