I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
