Soap is not a condiment
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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