Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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