i think i have herpe
just one?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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