I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
