He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
