Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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