mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I need to wash the frat house off of me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
