I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
