I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
