she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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