Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
