you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
