haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
