Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
