I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
home. puking in laundry basket.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
sex in a hospital.. check
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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