That's intense
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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