This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize