Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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