i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
