Heybabeimwearingurpanties
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
