why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
