Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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