First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
