My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
