I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
