Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
