You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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