He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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