i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
