Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize