They should really pass out barf bags in church
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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