How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Be still, my beating vagina.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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