I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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