party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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