Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i wish my penis had a tongue
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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