Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
